Quick Write

O bird
I brought you forth, but can’t find your wings
You speak words or sing songs, I can’t tell which
Can you sing words? Can you speak a song?
Can I break from my bonds and fly?
Not I
Not you
We are creatures resigned to futures we can’t see
We are sculptures, you and I, we can’t breathe
Hearts of stone, or oak, or something hard, dense
From a broken tower I watch the world die
Abandon pretence, swallow flames, become dirt
Weep with abandon and realize that you were part of the world
Part of what I let fall
How could you fly, when I took your wings?
So when the world fell, so did you
So when the world burned, where could you go?
Not up
Not out
What of me now? With nothing left
The loneliest man on the tallest tower
The man of many faults
The man of many hearts
I know I speak words, but they don’t sound like a song
I know I try, but the words seem wrong
The tune seems flat
More chanting, and barely that
To a tower, resigned
O bird
O bird
O bird

Friday 5

Last Song on Earth

1. If the world was ending and you could listen to one song, what would it be?

Each Coming Night, by Iron and Wine

2. How did you first come across that song?

When listening to the Iron and Wine album on which that song resides. I listened to this song over and over the one night, feeling terribly sad and crying the whole time. It was a rough time, I was trying to take myself off anti-depressants that were making me sick, and not having a great time. That night was inexplicably worse, I just listened to that song on repeat laying in my bed in my room at my sister's house, feeling terrible. After several hours I finally managed to sleep, the next morning I found out that that night, my grandfather had died. I wasn't especially close to him, but I have a profound respect for him, and a deep regret that I wasn't closer to him (all my grandparents, really...all my family, really...).

3. If it reminds you of a person, is that person still with you?

See above.

4. Does anyone else know what that song means to you?

I suppose they would now, after reading this post.

5. Where would you listen to it, and with whom?

If I have complete control over the circumstances, It would have to be with my wife and our kitten, in the car, parked on a cliff overlooking the end of the world, be it with a bang, a whimper, or with nothing at all.

Sparkbroker

What spark, in the dark
In disingenuous embers glows the face of a lost lover
Trickle in the feelings, feel the tickle of tears down your cheeks
It reeks of emotion,
And emptiness
Hollow the trunks of dead trees and empty the gust of dead breezes
Make real your imaginary friends
Make an army to fight the real demons
What shark, the dark body of water that last lets loose the dead dream
Eight days underground and the rhythm has you writhing
Light lights, the fire in your eyes
The trumpet tempers the flame in your ears
Too many fears are forgotten
Failed for nothing more than waking up the truth
What dark, if there is a spark?
But what spark?
Who spake?
The voice lost, not found in the failing fire of your final flight
What light?
Whose lantern burns deep in the dungeons and the damp, dying doom?
What room?
No doors to dream the passage breaks conscience, incites passion
Leaks lies
Eats dull razors with crooked teeth
Lights let liars see the lines in your eyes
The darkness harbours friends
The comfort of the unknown
So what light?
Fight!
Bring back the black!
The night will fall
And bring them all
Down
Down
Down
To me.

Armour

Return! Return! The voices chant, and I respond. I have had a rather busy time lately. There's just so much happening, I don't even know where to start! I suppose if I posted more frequently, as things happened, then I wouldn't have this problem. It makes posts more daunting to make, but that much more rewarding.
So we went to Niagara falls, had a good time, came home earlier than expected because my Uncle Dave died, and it was snowing in Niagara Falls, both of which significantly reduce the enjoyment factor. We came home on a Monday to find we'd been locked out of the building! It was such an exciting thing to find out that our landlord is so childish that he has to resort to breaking the law because we won't kowtow to his will. In truth it was not exciting, it was rather infuriating, and made Monday and Tuesday incredibly stressful. I can't wait until we no longer have to rent, and we can own our own house and not have to deal with landlords anymore. For now we have at least another year of renting, though, so we must make the most out of it.
The good that came out of the situation though, was that the stress of this situation finally made Mal realize why we need to move. Because it's not like this is the first thing we've had to deal with, and this place costs too much money to cause this much stress. Also, it made her realize that we don't need a fancy condo to be happy. We applied to lease the house on Carissa, which is nice because it's about 35% cheaper, much bigger, has an attached garage and a yard with a deck, so we can finally use our awesome barbecue. We should hear a yes or no this week from Don, and then we can get in gear and get moved! How truly thrilling!
I feel as though the writing quality of this post is very staggered and unnatural, and I keep getting distracted. I am going to try and get some writing done later today, and I will try and get it posted.

Thanks for listening.

Bruxism

Have you ever caught yourself grinding your teeth? It's usually related to stress. I have been grinding my teeth non-stop all day. Bruxism usually occurs at night, sub-consciously, but mine is pretty constant. I have been trying to stay diligent, and focus on not grinding, but every time my thoughts starts to drift into my worries, I realize I'm doing it again. It is leading to jaw pain, and I have had a dull, constant headache all day. It interrupts my train of thought, I can't focus properly on anything properly, I can't write, especially. I know my composition here is not up to my usual standard, and this is just your standard blog post. Very frustrating, indeed. I am getting a night guard made, but I won't have it for a while, and that only helps at night. What I need to do is to learn how to better handle my stress, and to eliminate some of it. I'm hoping this coming weekend in Niagara Falls helps, and I know it will be easier once the impending relocation is finished. I'm going to give this newfangled thing called meditation a shot, my sister keeps inviting me, and I'm going to take her up on it, soon.

Anyways, off to a night of fitful grinding.

Breakfast v2

I wrote this a couple ays back, the title is above, and has specific meaning. I don't think it's finished, there are a couple of line which I feel are...inelegant, at best. We will see what you think of them.

Edit: I have made some changes, some based on suggestion, some based on my own feelings, please revisit!

A voice like honey drips
From lungs like steel
A fusion of machine and man,
The consummation of the plan.

The grip of God upon my throat,
The chorus of the Word expand!
The truth of love, the spirit here,
The end of death, of greed, of fear.

When the dawn march up the day,
And when the fast is broken, near
The bridge of mourning, sighs and all;
No memories of death, of fall.

Remember then, the words of us
The songs we sang; and all
The melodies of love gone past,
The notes and tones not made to last!

Those in smaller numbers must
Sing out that much more loudly!
The voices of the crowd are lost,
No matter one, no matter cost.

Beware of them that shine so bright
So falsely in the day,
For when a sparkle moonlight brings
The chorus of the angels sings!

The songs of untrained hearts,
The pleas of broken men,
The crying of a dying child,
The ending of the world gone wild.

I wrote something!

Tell me what you think. Tell me how it makes you feel!